Ask before you suggest
Before you mention coaching, ask how things are going and what they'd change if they could. If they name something themselves, coaching becomes a way to help with what they care about.
Make it
about them
If coaching sounds like a fix, most teens will push back. Talk about it as something for them: a coach who's on their side and helps with whatever they want to work on, whether that's school, friends, a sport, or figuring out life after high school.
Explain what
coaching is (and isn't)
A lot of teens hear "coaching" and picture therapy, a tutor, or another adult who's going to tell them what to do. It helps to explain the difference.
Therapy
The right support for mental health concerns, with a licensed professional. Most teens just want someone to talk to, not to be treated like something needs fixing.
Tutoring
Great for grades and test prep. But it stays focused on schoolwork, not everything else going on in their life.
Coaching
Setting goals, building habits, and figuring out what's next, with a relatable coach who listens and gives advice when they want it.
Let them know it's private
Many teens worry their coach will report everything back to you. Let them know what they talk about stays between them and their coach. You'll get a general monthly update, not the details.
Start with one call
Ask if they'd try one free 30-minute call with a coach. It's just a conversation, not signing up for a big program, and the final decision is theirs. Once teens meet their coach and see how relatable and easy to talk to they are, most are on board.
A few things you could say
What usually helps
"I'm not trying to change you. I just think it'd be good to have someone to talk to who isn't me."
"You decide what you talk about."
"Just try one call. If you don't like it, we'll drop it." (Only say this if you mean it.)
What usually doesn't
Framing it as a consequence
Listing what you want the coach to fix
Bringing it up mid-argument
